The Lighter Side of Sports
Archive for March, 2010
And the Dipshit award for 2010 goes to…..
Mar 24th

ANDRAY BLATCHE!!! Congradulations!!!!
Wizards’ Blatche refused to play
The Washington Wizards‘ Andray Blatche(notes) may be 6’11″, but he’s looking pretty small right about now. He apparently refused to play for his team last night while they were getting handed the twelfth defeat in a row, according to Reuters. This one came at the hands of the Charlotte Bobcats.
Head coach Flip Saunders took Blatche out in the first quarter to talk to him about his work on defense and then the four-year pro refused to go back in. “I took him out of the game because I wanted to talk to him about not getting back on defense,” Saunders told reporters. “He didn’t want to hear it.”
Saunders told him that if he didn’t want to be spoken to or coached, he wouldn’t play. “We had coaches go up to him three different times. He just said he didn’t want to play,” he said.
Not a good move by Blatche.
Whats even funnier was the Wizards were actually printing THIS MOST IMPROVED FLIER FOR BLATCHE BEFORE THE GAME!

NJ Nets New ticket packages and Rules…
Mar 23rd
We all know the Nets suck now, but the NBA has come up with a new set of rules that apply specifically to teams playing against the Nets in order to help the Nets save face and maybe the season. First off the opposing team can only have 3 players on the court, and one of them has to be in a wheelchair, the second has to be blindfolded, and the third has to have his hand tied behind his back.
Every shot the Nets hit will count as 5 points and every 3 pointer will count as 7. Plus the league will match every point the Nets score. So, for example if the final score is 95-70 in favor of the opposing team after the points matching the Nets will have won 140-95. In addition the Nets will be able to roll over all points over the winning point. So continuing with our example the Nets will have 44 points to roll over to the next game. However, roll over points will expire at the end of each, because anything longer than that would be unfair. Also just in case the league will allow thopposing team to only score up to 100 points; for each point they go over they will be hit with overage charges to the tune of $100 per point.
In light of these new rules the Nets have come up with some new ticket packages to get more people to come to the games. Here they are:
- $1.00 will get you a seat in the upper level.
- $1.50 will get you a seat in the upper level with a beer and hotdog.
- $2.00 will get you a seat in the upper level with a beer and hotdog and a gun with one bullet as a courtesy.
- $2.50 will get you a seat in the upper level with a beer and hotdogand a gun taken from a players locker with one bullet as a courtesy.
- $3.00 will get you a seat on the lower level and a book to read.
- $4.00 will get you a seat midcourt with a fully loaded ipod video.
- $5.00 the Nets will lwt you play for 5 minutes.
- $6.00 the Nets will let you coach for 5 Minutes.
- $7.00 the League will let you ref for 5 Minutes.
- $8.00 you can buy the Nets franchise.
Look what I found on StubHub! Nets Playoff Ticket Descriptions….
Mar 23rd

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About New Jersey Nets Playoff Tickets
New Jersey Nets Playoff Tickets – Making Strides
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New Jersey Nets Playoff Tickets – Playoff History
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New Jersey Nets Playoff Tickets – On the Rise
Throughout most of the last decade, the Nets were a dominant power in the NBA Eastern Conference. The Nets are rebuilding now and are loaded with young talent. Brook Lopez looks really good, and should be manning the middle for the Nets for a long time. Get your New Jersey Nets playoff tickets to see Lopez and Devin Harris try to get the job done against the best in the conference!
Chuck Knoblauch beats his wife up….
Mar 17th

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5001643
HOUSTON — Former major league infielder Chuck Knoblauch has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault on his common-law wife.
According to court records, Knoblauch entered his plea Tuesday in exchange for deferred-adjudication probation. Successful completion of his one-year probation could mean the conviction on the assault of a family member would be expunged from the record.
Knoblauch also was fined $1,000. Knoblauch’s attorney didn’t return a telephone call Tuesday.
According to a criminal complaint, Knoblauch’s wife told police he hit her in the face and choked her at their Houston home in September.
The 41-year-old Houston native played for the Minnesota Twins, New York Yankees and Kansas City Royals from 1991-2002. In 12 seasons, the 1991 American League Rookie of the Year and four-time All-Star batted .289 with 98 home runs and 615 RBIs.
I guess all those taunts from Yankee fans finally got to Knobs.
It was reported that he reportedly slugged her when she wouldn’t stop pestering him to not teach the children how to field.
Part of the terms of his punishment are that he can only teach his boys, Matt, Tim and Phillip how to hit and baserun but is never allowed to show them anything fielding related until they are 18 and can deal with the emotional toll that will cause. Batting stance techniques are in the gray area and it’s not known if that would be allowed.
Who said Steve Francis does nothing on the bench…
Mar 16th
This is one of the best picks I have ever seen in the NBA. Fuck the NBA, probably one of the best picks of any Athlete ever!
He is so dedicated to find the real good part he just wont stop trying. If only he tried this hard in the NBA he would stop picking on the bench but instead during games ON the court
Browns sign Delhomme, beating out zero of the other teams
Mar 13th

The days of where Browns fans were terrorized by the horrible choices of quarterback between Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson are over. Sadly they two options have somehow gotten even worse.
Now, Brady Quinn and Jake Delhomme (owner to the prestiges title of “Most Picks in a Playoff Game”) will battle it out for the next couple of years. Somehow someone thought a QB well past his prime was the answer to Browns fans tears…
If only the Browns could sign Shaun Alexander and convince Deion Sanders to come out of retirement then they could host the entire roster of the 2001 Pro Bowl…
This is how Brawls should look like…
Mar 12th
Ben Roethlisberter or Rapelisberger accused of second rape in year…
Mar 8th

Big Ben is on a mission to prove that not only can NBA stars get away with raping. After seeing how well off Kobe Bryant is now 5 years removed from his Colorado raping, Big Ben said “I will double Kobe and be twice as powerful.”
Ben said that if he gets away with a second raping he should be the most celebrated Rapist ever because of his past rape charge. He equated it to committing a second bank robbery when you already had a “Most Wanted” poster in the same bank you were holding up a second time.
Mr. Roethlisberger said he would cooperate with cops and investigators but only if they would specify which rape they were talking about during questioning.
Big Ben might be resorting to this raping behavior because of his upbringing. He recently told a close confidant that “My mother never loved me, she always said she wish she was raped by another woman.”
A picture is worth 1000 words….
Mar 5th

Well that is for normal pictures, this picture has got to be good for about 52,000,000. This is an actual ingame photo of the Nets playing in front of 20 thousand beer infested seats.
I don’t think I have ever seen a stadium this empty and this is freakin New Jersey, not some little town with no transportation nearby. The Washington Nationals aka the Montreal Expos laughed when they saw this photo. They were actually giving the Nets advice on how to fill the seats.
First off, everyone knew the Nets were gonna be bad this year no shock there, but this bad? no chance in hell. The fact that they are this historically bad team only makes me want to see them live and in the flesh even more. No way I was going to leave a Nets game when there are this few people. It’s disrespectful to these players with self esteem issues. I mean it’s bad enough they have to play for the Nets, a team who’s coach was forced to come down from the GM cushion to coach when he explicitly said he had no desire to. I can picture leaving my seat heading to an exit when a Nets player like Josh Boone looks at me and says “Where you going? Come on! Stick around, it’s not even halftime yet” and I would slowly shy back into my seat.
When there are about 100 fans in an NBA arena, there is no actual noise being made so anything you want to say can be heard by the players and coaches. This leads to some awesome heckle opportunities.