The Lighter Side of Sports
Archive for February, 2010
MLB goes out on a limb…Bans Guns, Knives and Explosives from Clubhouse
Feb 26th
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/35485820/ns/business/
All time leader in Gold Digging
I would love to have been there when the meeting for these bannings took place.
Selig on one side of the table, representatives from the MLB Players Association on the other. Selig says he wants all these stuff banned from all team functions and events. The MLBPA agrees but is adamant about Explosives not being included in the ban. They argue for quiet some time about locations where the guns and explosives are allowed. They argue over this for 3 days until they reach the ban. After hearing this news Gilbert Arenas told Plaxico Burress “Fuck the MLB, we are never gonna play for those Crackers!”
So baseball has banned explosives but not HGH, what a world we live in. I still can’t get over the explosives ban, until the ban it must have been assumed that it was allowed in the clubhouse no? That’s why they had to put it into the ban. There were probably players unpacking there stuff into lockers, like pictures of family, a few gloves, some coins, and some dynamite or firecrackers!
Eli Manning Gets It!!!
Feb 24th
Eli Manning won’t take broke hospital’s money
By MJD
St. Vincent’s hospital in New York has a little bit of a debt problem — about $700 million worth, according to the New York Post. They also owed New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning(notes) over $500,000 for marketing work he’s done for them, but Eli, aware of their debt problems, told them no thanks. He wants them to keep their money. He’ll continue doing fund-raising work for the hospital for free, too.
Obviously, it’s the right thing for Eli to do. What kind of person — especially one with Eli’s money — would demand that a bankrupt hospital keep paying him, especially when they’re already cutting salaries and jobs? “Shut down your Oncology ward! The quarterback needs his money!” No, that’s not quite Eli’s style.
Unfortunately, it might be too late for Eli to escape bad publicity for having already accepted a good chunk of change from the hospital. A separate New York Post article quotes WFAN sports radio and e-mails to the newspaper blasting Manning. Before agreeing to release St. Vincent’s from their obligation, Manning had already made over $500,000 from them. Here’s one of the e-mails:
“This is probably why they [St. Vincent's] are going down to begin with … Eli should have returned all the money he took … and then dedicate himself to saving a MUCH NEEDED HOSPITAL!!! What a shlump!”
Perhaps Manning wasn’t aware of the hospital’s financial problems when he took their money to begin with. He had a marketing deal with the hospital. They signed up to give him that money. It’s not like he held them up at gunpoint and started demanding cash or something.
It just seems like this was all a poorly-timed and poorly-executed deal from the beginning, and I’m sure Eli will do what he feels is right.
ESPN is Pranked….Awesome!
Feb 24th
Best Sideline Reporter Ever!
Feb 23rd
Australia’s Figure Skating announcers are funny!
Feb 22nd
LULZ!Seems Aussies are up in arms over this wacky pair of yuksters, apparently well-known for “their own brand of schoolboy humour”. The t.v. station has been fielding numerous complaints, gay rights activists have publicly condemned them, and someone even went and started a Facebook page. The reason? A number of remarks made during national broadcasts of the men’s figure skating event, including the quote above, and the following:
• McGuire’s description of Japanese skater Daisuke Takahashi’s festive cowboy outfit as “a bit of Brokeback”.
• On the first day of competition, Molloy (who incidentally would make one hell of an Artie Lange impersonator, were there a market for such a thing) joked that organizers were shocked to learn that one of the skaters was not gay. The next day he apologized by saying: “‘I suggested that there was a disaster happening at the ice skating rink because organisers had found out one of the male ice dancers wasn’t gay. And I apologise for that really sincerely…[cue Johnny Weir taking the ice]…but it definitely wasn’t this guy.”
The most amazing part of this whole thing is that these guys got in more than one of these jokes on national television without first getting yanked. You try that shtick around these parts, and Joe Buck will be in the booth personally striking you down faster than you can sink a stubby, which is Australian slang for, presumably, drinking a beer.
My Favorite Olympian!!!
Feb 21st
Dutch speedskater Sven Kramer is HERE! Finally an Olympian who doesn’t cower to a random reporter! A foreign reporter to him I might add and blows her off for asking him his name. If you have the nerve to ask him for a few questions don’t insult him by asking his name and Country especially after he just won the gold medal!
That’s like a French Reporter running a few hundred feet after Kobe Bryant after the Lakers win a Championship and asking him for his name, address and previous criminal records. He would tell the reporter to fuck himself, this Dutch dude was rather calm in my opinion.
German Olympic athlete chips a tooth biting his medal…
Feb 19th
An Olympic Luger (it seems these guys have a lot of luck) broke his tooth on his medal while posing for a picture. Apparently he thought it was a chocolate medal and wanted to taste the victory, what a moron. Now he won’t be able to Luge anymore instead he’s gonna need to start playing hockey or move to Tennessee, buy some overalls, a shotgun and fishing rods and start thinking up our new redneck sport. One thing you can say is that the Olympics shows the physical strength of all these athletes competing for pride and country. But I think its safe to say that their combined I.Q. and I mean of all the athletes from all the countries is around 2.5, 3.0, 2.5, 2.5 3.0 = 2.7 (good for you if you got the reference, if not thank god you have no idea what it means). Finally a piece of advice for all those genius Olympians who want to try biting their medals, drink your milk first.
Hey kid since we almost killed ya take a stick….
Feb 18th
Yeah who needs to call a medic or something his 5 year old skull was only smashed by a pane of glass. Everyone knows hockey sticks are the #1 cure for head trauma.
Pane of glass to head=Hockey Stick
Zamboni running over child=Full Jersey with signed skate
These were all part of the collective bargaining agreement in the last strike.
Thank god Stephen A Smith isn’t on ESPN anymore….
Feb 17th
Just saw his name today and I am so grateful ESPN canned this penis last year. Dude was everywhere 24/7.
Stephen A Smiff (as he pronounced it) had a radio show, tv show (Quite Frankly) pretty sure he had a cooking show on midnight as well.
All he blabbered about was black vs white issues as if he was Martin Luther King. Dude was dumber then Al Sharpton and Gilbert Arenas combined.
A couple highlights from Stephen A Smith come to mind.
- He was discussing a missed Field Goal in the last second of a football game and said this quote which is an all time favorite of mine “That’s why you should kick the field goal on 3rd down because if he misses then you can kick again on 4th”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This gem has no explanation, ESPN should have locked him onto a basketball court and told him he can never leave.
- When the Giants fired Defensive Coordinator Tim Lewis in 2006, Stephen was blasting the Giants for firing him, what was the reason Smith was upset? you guessed because he was black he said he got the raw end. He took back those words a few days later but we saw what a clown Stephen A Smiff really was
- When Byron Scott was the coach of the Hornets a few years back and replaced all the assistant coaches with “brothas” , Smiff says he was proud of Scott for doing that. Nothing needs to be said about what would ahve happened if a white radio analyst had said the same thing about a white coach.
