The Lighter Side of Sports
You Can’t make this up…
Someone in Toronto has big balls…..
Jul 28th
Apperantly the Toronto Blue Jays have told teams they won’t trade middle reliever Scott Downs unless they are blown away with an offer.
Whoever is GM of this franchise has real balls to seriously ask the Yanks for top prospect Jesus Montero for Downs!
Apparently he thinks Omar Minaya is GM’ing the Yanks. Yeah this makes a lot of sense, Montero was the main piece in a deal to bring Cliff Lee to Bronxtown and now that that deal fell through, why the hell wouldn’t the Yanks agree to trade him for a middle reliever!
Trade the best pitcher in baseball (Doc Halladay) for a crappy set of minor leaguers and ask the world for a crappy middle reliever. I guess GM’ing isnt for everyone.
Isiah Thomas just contacted the Blue Jays brass to give him some tips on how to successfully ruin a franchise this well since he never had the chutzpah to offer Eddie Curry for Pau Gasol.
And the Dipshit award for 2010 goes to…..
Mar 24th
ANDRAY BLATCHE!!! Congradulations!!!!
Wizards’ Blatche refused to play
The Washington Wizards‘ Andray Blatche(notes) may be 6’11″, but he’s looking pretty small right about now. He apparently refused to play for his team last night while they were getting handed the twelfth defeat in a row, according to Reuters. This one came at the hands of the Charlotte Bobcats.
Head coach Flip Saunders took Blatche out in the first quarter to talk to him about his work on defense and then the four-year pro refused to go back in. “I took him out of the game because I wanted to talk to him about not getting back on defense,” Saunders told reporters. “He didn’t want to hear it.”
Saunders told him that if he didn’t want to be spoken to or coached, he wouldn’t play. “We had coaches go up to him three different times. He just said he didn’t want to play,” he said.
Not a good move by Blatche.
Whats even funnier was the Wizards were actually printing THIS MOST IMPROVED FLIER FOR BLATCHE BEFORE THE GAME!
A picture is worth 1000 words….
Mar 5th
Well that is for normal pictures, this picture has got to be good for about 52,000,000. This is an actual ingame photo of the Nets playing in front of 20 thousand beer infested seats.
I don’t think I have ever seen a stadium this empty and this is freakin New Jersey, not some little town with no transportation nearby. The Washington Nationals aka the Montreal Expos laughed when they saw this photo. They were actually giving the Nets advice on how to fill the seats.
First off, everyone knew the Nets were gonna be bad this year no shock there, but this bad? no chance in hell. The fact that they are this historically bad team only makes me want to see them live and in the flesh even more. No way I was going to leave a Nets game when there are this few people. It’s disrespectful to these players with self esteem issues. I mean it’s bad enough they have to play for the Nets, a team who’s coach was forced to come down from the GM cushion to coach when he explicitly said he had no desire to. I can picture leaving my seat heading to an exit when a Nets player like Josh Boone looks at me and says “Where you going? Come on! Stick around, it’s not even halftime yet” and I would slowly shy back into my seat.
When there are about 100 fans in an NBA arena, there is no actual noise being made so anything you want to say can be heard by the players and coaches. This leads to some awesome heckle opportunities.
MLB goes out on a limb…Bans Guns, Knives and Explosives from Clubhouse
Feb 26th
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/35485820/ns/business/
All time leader in Gold Digging
I would love to have been there when the meeting for these bannings took place.
Selig on one side of the table, representatives from the MLB Players Association on the other. Selig says he wants all these stuff banned from all team functions and events. The MLBPA agrees but is adamant about Explosives not being included in the ban. They argue for quiet some time about locations where the guns and explosives are allowed. They argue over this for 3 days until they reach the ban. After hearing this news Gilbert Arenas told Plaxico Burress “Fuck the MLB, we are never gonna play for those Crackers!”
So baseball has banned explosives but not HGH, what a world we live in. I still can’t get over the explosives ban, until the ban it must have been assumed that it was allowed in the clubhouse no? That’s why they had to put it into the ban. There were probably players unpacking there stuff into lockers, like pictures of family, a few gloves, some coins, and some dynamite or firecrackers!
Hey kid since we almost killed ya take a stick….
Feb 18th
Yeah who needs to call a medic or something his 5 year old skull was only smashed by a pane of glass. Everyone knows hockey sticks are the #1 cure for head trauma.
Pane of glass to head=Hockey Stick
Zamboni running over child=Full Jersey with signed skate
These were all part of the collective bargaining agreement in the last strike.
German speed skater finishes 4th place for 15th time!
Feb 16th
http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/sport-news
This is an actual quote from the unlucky skater
After the race in Vancouver she moaned: “Sh*t! Sh*t follows me wherever I go! I made no mistakes, I’m endlessly disappointed.”
Sarcastically she added: “Winning all my fourth places has always been a close call.”
She is like the Dan Marino of Speed Skating only she doesn’t make any money and she speaks proper English
Is this 2007 still? Frank Thomas announcing retirement today…
Feb 12th
Breaking news no? why the hell hasn’t he announced this in the last 3 years when he hasn’t touched a baseball?
Was he aware that playing himself in MLB 2K9 was not considered being in the big leagues?
Other breaking news, Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points and Kobe Bryant raped a woman.
The Big Hurt better get some better publicists since the clowns he has hired take 3 years to do the job any of us can do in what, ONE EMAIL?
For what it’s worth the Big Hurt is obviously a first ballot Hall of Famer, and unlike all the other sluggers of the last 20 years has never been brought up in the whole Steroids stuff. I mean look at this dude, he was born 200 pounds, if he ever put steroids in his massive body the dudes head would have exploded like a pinata being attacked by Somalian pirates.
NFL rivaling the NBA’s 2010 Free Agent Class with….
Feb 11th
Kyle Orton AND Matt Moore as the cream of this years free agent NFL Quarterback class. Yep, if your a team in need of a savior at the QB position either Moore or Orton are available!!!
Moore had to inform the league that:
A) He was in the NFL
B) He had a contract that would be expiring
C) He did not want to get the franchise tag from the Panthers calling it “Insulting”
Ok I made up the last part because you can only franchise a player who more then 17 people knew was playing in the NFL, that is a rule but it’s explained with some technical jargon that I didn’t include.
Speculation is that the Orton demand will be going buck crazy this offseason with as many as 2 teams believed to be seriously interested in Kyle Fucking Orton as their savior. Lebron, Wade, Bosh, Amare, NBA eat your heart out, you don’t have a player with the credentials or mustache as Mr. Orton.
Maybe this is the reason for the looming NFL strike in 2011, look at the free agent class of offensive players this offseason:
Lendale “whale” White, Leon Washington, Steve Breaston, Kevin Walters, Jaari Evans, Leron Mcclain
No jokes these were the BEST of the bunch, that’s like choosing the best of the 2009 Lions squad. So if your a fan of the ten teams who routinely strive for 4-12 seasons, unless Peyton Manning, Drew Brees or Brett Favre become eligible in the NFL draft this year, it’s gonna be another long season……
New Tiger Woods mistress themed golf balls upsets porn star…
Feb 5th
The golf balls featuring the faces of Tiger woods mistresses has upset his his porn star mistress. She says only she or her agent decide which balls her face goes on. Tiger woods wife was seen with a truckload of these balls at a local driving range, which is now part of her new anger management therapy for this whole messed up situation. Meanwhile Tiger woods is playing with his balls (or whats left of them) at the sex rehab center. When asked what he thought of the new golf ball set, he said, he couldn’t wait to get a set of his own, balls that is, since his wife got his in the settlement. The company that makes this golf ball set is now starting their campaign to sell tons of these sets, their pitch, “Now YOU can hit that too”.
So if you play golf or just like playing with balls go out and get your very own set. Coming soon… Celebrities who died of a drug overdose golf ball set. The 1,000 ball set will feature all the celebrities who died in the past month from a drug overdose and will be available in stores soon.
